A Night to Remember

Everytime i woke up in the morning for school, didn't had enough sleep yet, I kept on pushing myself "let's move, i won't feel the time anyway" and that is exactly what i did. Everyday. What exites me through the day is that I'm going to have something to look forward to in the evening. It's my sister's birthday and we're gonna celebrate it by watching "Konser Indonesia Bermimpi" Glenn Fredly at The Pallas, SCBD. I was already so tired from school, but i'm just trying to keep up, and also what disaster is that I haven't prepare what I'm going to wear which makes me gotta try like 3-5 outfits. I'm not the only one ok, don't judge.

It was rainy which cause the traffic of course, my mom's friends were there, my sister brought her bestfriend, Kerin whom I'm pretty close to. And yeah it was crowded already, on the lines. Finally get to enter and the place is beautiful, felt like in a church but there's a bar, and lots and lots of chandeliers. Felt like in a movie. But sadly, the air was full of smoke. I hate it. We gotta wait like 2 hours and I was starving, I even gotta hold my pee because it was too crowded to get out from the crowd. When he came, my energy was fulfilled and I let out my voice singing as everyone does. He makes me energetic, hype and brought good vibes for sure!

Long story short. I've been seeing him for 3 times and now, the 4th, is where he sang the song that I love the most. "Kisah Sedih Tak Berujung". It's like it saying "we could've but we didn't" or "we were maybe, never a must". Like you thought, this will be the last, but it didn't. You thought it could be "forever" but turns out to be "a while" so you just gotta accept it and keep it as a memory you'll cherish for the rest of your lives. or until someone new or time can do the healing. This song is the deepest for me, every word in the lyrics says it all. I almost cried as I sang along with my heart and soul. 

 

There just gotta be sax. Makes your hip move,
and dance to the groove.

I'm happy seeing you happy and dance like
no one cares, especially spending this moment
with your best friend. Live life, big sis.

There is no sister like you. There's sisters who would go to their bestfriend first to ask for advice, shut themselves and keep everything to themselves, especially personal things when they got a boyfriend. you told me all chapters in your life, the sweet and sour. I'm happy I get to hear it, I'm happy being there for you when you need me. I am such a cold hearted b that you're so patient keeping up with me. No one can bring the best version of myself but you, no one can make me laugh with tears when I'm at my worst or my darkest side. What's better is that you help me change to be better, help me to forgive, help me to accept, to start to look the goods inside of every people's soul and do some random act of kindness. Thanks for being here, watching me grow. You are more than just a writer. You are the most lovable caring person I've ever met in my life and I'm grateful having you as a sister. Thanks for always being my wing, and also being the Elsa to my Anna.

6th November, Indiana, 1983

I am fangirling right now. I had been so annoying since i finish the last episode and i just couldn't talked about it with my friends, even my sister because they haven't finish it and it'll spoil everything. Just now my sister was like "omg shut up u can blab about it when i finish it okay" and I'm like "So who am i supposed to talk about it with" "Talk to the wall!" she replied. Guess I'm just gonna pour it all here. So Stranger Things Season 2 got everyone so hype. I literally finished it in like a day on the 4th of November since it's everywhere like on my Youtube timeline, and on Snapchat's Discovery and I can't help it anymore and once i watch it, i just can't stop. I'll starve, I'll hold my pee, anything to finish it as soon as i possibly can because it's pulling me and really brings out the curiosity in me. When i was watching it, I even hurt my eyes for sleeping less, which brings out the headache but I just couldn't stop.

My first reaction was full of shock, just shock how babies they were in Season 1 and they just go from the age of 13 to 17 in a year. That is just fast. Also, i know i'm not the only one who would think that Max is such an annoying brat like no, even I can't accept her in the party. Secondly it got me so excited how Will Byer is not in the Upside Down anymore and the fact that's he's gonna play more in the scene.

Got me all shook when he had another episode on his mind, where he sees himself in the Upside Down and the Shadow Monster possesses his body. Thirdly, it kills my heart, my soul that Hopper just wouldn't let Eleven come out from the hidden cabin in the woods, where she doens't have a life, literally just spend the days accompanied by the TV WHERE SHE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH MIKE BECAUSE BEING WITH HIM JUST MAKES HER HAPPY AND SAFE AND THEY ARE JUST IN LOVE AND THE WHOLE UNIVERSE IS SUPPORTING IT.

okay i'm chill now. It screams my heart out, the fact that she just can see Mike through her mind, not in real life and Hopper just doubt her for coming out because the more people see her, the more danger she's in.

Moving on, it kinda bugs me when Eleven meet her long-lost sister, 008? Whose name i forgot. Like, it looks like she's enjoying spending time with her because they both have powers and experienced the same past.hat i don't like is that how 008, the fact that all she thinks is just about to take revenge, revenge and revenge to kill  people who hurt her in the past. (u could've just let it go bitch, move on). Then Eleven change her mind, decided to go back "home" to go to her friends, where she can save their lives. Got me like "YAZ BITCH GO SEE MIKE".

For years, for decades, the moment, the scenes out of all scenes that i have been waiting for my whole life is when they see each other in the cabin, so full of affection and pain and happiness like all at once, you can tell so much by the look on their face. I EVEN REMEMBERED THE LINE. OKAY I'M SORRY BUT THIS JUST HAPPEN TO GET ME SO HYPE I HAVEN'T FEEL THIS OBSESSED.

like can you actually believe that Mike's first love is this girl whom he had been spending time with for just a few days, teaching her words, pretend that he's sick so he can just spend time with her, and believe in himself that he could've save her when she dissapeared and since that day when she left her, he spent 353 nights to reach her, making sure that she was okay like IS THIS A JOKE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME I AM DEAD. Lmao the guy i like can't even call me. i was bursting in tears when i saw this scene, i have no words, i can't understand how strong their love is. I'm done.

AND ALSO THE PART WHERE MIKE SAID "i can't lose you again" "you won't lose me" "Promise?" "Promise". Then she head off to close the gate, saving the world and just like Mike's promise on the last ep of season 1. When it's all over, they went to SnowBall together AND IT WAS SO SATISFYING TO SEE THEM TOGETHER MY HAPPY TEARS ARE COMING OUT AND THERE WAS "Every Breath You Take" music on the background. They kiss. And as i finish that, i played it like 3 or 4 more times because i can't believe that is actually done like what am i supposed to do now i am lifeless.

PS I REALIZED THAT THIS DAY, 7TH NOVEMBER, 34 YEARS AGO IS THE DAY WHERE THE FIRST TIME MIKE AND ELEVEN MET SO YEAH LET'S CELEBRATE TO THAT. (anyway sorry for me being overreacting but this is just how i felt, i am this hype)

Instagram. Living without it.

The application people always use, and the first thing they probably click when their phone is opened. Legit. Even in public, you can hardly see them texting on their phone screens, or reading an article. Instead of all that you mostly see instagram timeline, scrolling, pictures of their friends, Kylie Jenner, fanpages, youtubers. everything. It gets tiring for me. App like an Instagram,for me, it gives a little knowledge. Like literally, it does eat a lot of time scrolling all of your "following", looking if they had post something. Point is, you're looking at people's life's update. Is it important? no. Do you really have to know? no. Do you really wanna see it? For me, well, depends. But it's all just a reflex of the finger honestly. + time taken for watching those instagram stories, girls doing boomerang when their makeup is on point, couples recording each other when they're on a date, taking pics of food porn to show off to the world what you're eating that can make others crave for it Just because i'm saying all this doesn't mean i hate Instagram, in fact i was so addicted to it that it distracts me a lot, especially when i'm studying. Like if i wanna search an answer in Google but my finger, in a reflex way, open Instagram instead. I would scroll for no reason, refuse to sleep to know all the updates that i really don't have to know. At the end, it's always a regret. Like "i shouldn't play it, i could've sleep earlier if i could control myself, playing with the social medias. Because at the end, I realized that i've been wasting my time the whole night".

So, it's been a month since I've deleted my Instagram and it feels way better than i thought, things seems more calm, and like, no more obligations to know about people's life's update and it's so freeing. I mean i could watch the news instead, read the newspaper, do some other stuff like studying and doing what i love, like painting. It's a great feeling and you, yes you, should try it. It might take a while because you're starting to change your day without doing something that you always do on your days before.

Prambanan Jazz 2017

DAY 1;
Prambanan never fails to amaze me, and so does jazz. And here, on the first day, felt like a wonderland.

aka fav festival partner whenever,
wherever. 

Day 2; 

What i'm very looking forward to today, is the one and only saxx in the city, music that can change like i'm in a jazz cafe in paris (lmao at least that's how it brings me). And yeah, the point is, i love saxophone because its telling a story, every note or tone, even though the sound is hard to understand and people find that it doesn't makes sense that they can't enjoy it. As i heard, people this generation don't really like it, in fact hate it but that's okay. Better for me if people don't really likeor know it  so it doesn't sound mainstream and i can feel like it's my music. mine. 

They literally change the atmosphere from where i am
standing and how they communicate through jazz it's just
wow. Glad that i love you.

Day 3;

Can't believe it's the last one. 

guess this is what you called a candid.

As always, Pradikta Wicaksono, never fail to amuse me.
Dem tight-ass-whatever-he-is-wearing and dem biceps.

Stars and Rabbit

I think this is the 4th or 5th time seeing them, front row.
Kahitna, always.

Glenn perform at the end to close this festival and i didn't take a shot of him because i was too busy living and enjoying the moment. My leg truly hurt, felt numb and i was so tired for standing for 5 hours straight, in a sea of people. But aye, it was all worth it. Until next year, Prambanan.

A. J

Saturday, 28th July 2017. The second day of Art Jakarta, and it's just not some oil paints in canvas, it's so much more than that, i'm excited to the bone, to my veins and arteries. Art is my thing, it's my world. It's my shit dude. What's so big about this is that, it's ART in everything, in food, in fashion, magazines, even in flowers. It's so crowded because this exhibition is located in the Ritz-Carlton ballroom and it's free. I didn't took many pictures as much as i thought i would because i want to live and enjoy this moment so badly. admiring people, admiring art.

Perks of having a sister as your own
photographer.

Something about this mirror-room-box-ish
-thingy! you can see people from the inside
 but they can't see youfrom the outside.
 Also, it's decorated a little, with these
adorable yellow flowers. And it's real!

If you look close enough, you'll 
realize that this painting
is not just some colorful raindrops,
 besides a white dog(from what i see) 
on the left side, and three people , 
tallest to shortest from left to right.

      

Keep me warm in your love then you
softly leave.

"City of Stars"

Maria Magdalena and Jesus

Bandung Bound

Nu Art Scuklpture Park

semakin perempuan itu mencoba untuk
 memudar, akibat firasat, bahwa ia akan
 terjatuh untuk kedua kalinya, semakin
ia menariknya.
K A S M A R A N 

n u d i t y 

town. street. view.

holding. or letting go. 

surrounded by crows.

sobbing in nude.

May

Wednesday, 10th
First day where Critical Eleven is officially held in the theaters. It must've been very very exciting for Ka Ika Natassa's fan, including me, my sis, and a friend of her, Ka Aviska. Fangirling over a book is a normal thing. Even though some of her book got this "General Warning" on the bottom of the cover. "May cause prolonged delusion, hyper-romanticism, temporary insanity, insomnia, uncontrollable giggles, spontaneous crying, etc" and it does killing us readers. The first page i read on C.E, it gave me the feels "this book is going to be a good one" and it is. The words she put on it, it's already interesting and the kind of writing that can pull the reader to not stop reading. As if the book is saying "turn on the next page, read me". It gave me that feels. The fact that the movie is born today, i couldn't get more excited. Ka Ika was right about how real Adinia played as Anya and Reza Rahadian played as Ale. I was crying emotionally out of all the sudden, i don't even know why, but even my heart aches and i cried pretty hard. It happened as "Sekali Lagi" by Isyana played on the scene where Ale and Anya tries to move on with their life through Aidan's death. Honestly, it doesn't even looked like Adinia and Reza is acting it out. They brought the character alive so much that it looked so real that you can feel as if you're in their position. This movie made my heart aches so bad, but at the same time, it showed me the warm love they have and how they're starting to accept again.

Yes kita memakai Jersey "Tim Ale" that we've ordered months
ago! Bisa dilihat mata kita rada bengkak. Emosi, menghayati,
 menjiwai.  Bisa dilihat matanya rada bengkak.

Friday, 12th
Grandpas. There's a moment that flashes back inside my mind when i was in those days back in Perth, Australia. Through Autumn or whatever weather it is, i always enjoy sitting on the front yard of my house, feeling the wind in the afternoon, looking through my roses garden from afar and sometimes, seeing grandpas walking alone on the sidewalk in front of my house. Seeing the face of an old man, you can tell a lot about them. No, not really. But still, they can be grumpy, sad, and also, face of loneliness. The fact that parents in overseas always being left by their children until they're getting old because their children became too busy having a new family. I kinda disagree with that, I mean, why not still living in one house with your parents while they're still here? They can do a lot of help, taking care of you and your granchildren at once because they've been through it all. Even my mom is still living in one roof with my grandma, and i'm hoping i can be like that too.

Anyway, Goethe Institute is throwing this events called "Europe On Screen", it's showing us from classics to the latest award-winning films including this movie which i've known the book (but haven't finish it) "A Man Called Ove".

I, on this Friday night, would love to company my dad to watch this. It started from 7.20pm until 10ish. The result was really good, the movie told us about the reason why he became those grumpy old man whom everybody's frightened of. He went to his beloved wife's grave every single day, who had died because of cancer, replacing wilted roses to the new ones and telling her stories about his everyday life. Every 9am, he would go around his neighbourhood to clean up the trash to keep the enviroment clean. Repeating the same thing everyday, he always tried to kill himself so he can catch up with his wife, Sonja, because she's the only woman that crosses his mind, every single day. The rest of the scene told us about his whole background. Truth is, his soul is not as bad as his face which is very irritating. When he died, everyone from the neighbourhood gather for him at the church, showing their love and care for Ove, who's truly been a kind-hearted old man with a grumpy face. He even helped others even though he felt annoyed being asked for help. That's what i learned from the movie, "don't judge a book by its cover". Why look at the bad side of a person if you can look at their good side?

Saturday, 13th
Went to Labspro with my baby aka the bestfriend who goes to Labschool so yeah, for sure, she got to attend to support her friends who's going to perform as well and also company me because i wanna see Kahitna, i haven't see them for a long time, they may be old but yeah, their song isn't. They were also a few artist which is GAC, Hivi! and suddengly Maudy Ayunda came to promote this new indie card and also sang her new song about chasing a dream. Finally, as always, Kahitna always perform the last because (obviously) it's like the best(?) Walaupun semua lagunya sama aja pesannya, tentang cinta atau patah hati atau dan berbagai cerita cinta yang lain, walaupun liriknya sama-sama aja kayak lagu mereka yang lain, tapi tetep aja. Kahitna selalu bisa untuk bikin hati gue senang.

Saturday, 27th
EXI(S)T "TOMORROW AS WE KNOW IT" ; National Galery of Indonesia

rotasi.

"manusia percaya dalam dosa,

 rasabersalah, rasa malu, dan

 perasaan sedih yang akan

 mempengaruhi manusia tersebut

ketika melihat dirinya sendiri"

Beg / Promise / By Ratu R. Saraswati

Wednesday, 31st 

Celebrating my aunt's and my sister's friend's birthday. Happy aging, you Geminians.